She used to leave notes in the morning on my table to remind me to take my vitamins etc etc, now she calls at the same time every morning. Thanks mommy, you know i'll never be able to say i love you because i simply can't, this isn't the kind of thing that i'll do, but whether you'll see this anot, i love you mommy.
Same goes to my dad and annoying quarrelsome sister and my aunty and my grandmother and my grandfather.
It's too late to show you grandfather, how much i love having you around, how much i always miss having you at our place, miss having you driving me around in the scooter of yours, bringing me for breakfast, bringing me to tea, pouring tea on the small plate for me, teaching me how to cross the road, drive a bike, starting the bike for me when i'm still a noob, playing badminton with me and giving more love than you need to as a grandfather.
Nothing can describe the misses i have whenever i lay in bed and thought that you used to sleep there when you're here. Nothing can ever describe the guilt that i feel to have you to see me quarreling badly with dad during your last stay over. You've taught me much, i didn't learn then. But i have been.
I've regretted what's been done, but at least i will try not to anymore when it comes to my loved ones.
Monday, October 26, 2009,4:50 PM
yes i'm playing this song but it means otherwise.
it's never me again. so good luck to you and more luck to me. should have known that it's not as easy as how we had wanted it to be. one person tried lesser and that's it. should have known. should have know.
unfortunately i'm feeling just so freaking pissed with everything. who says you reap what you sow? my ass. who says by being patient you will be awarded? i say the more you give in the more you lose.
bring me beer, bring me vodka, bring me anything that could make me forget even for a short while.
Sunday, October 25, 2009,5:03 PM
I am down again, with a terrible headache, sore throat, fever and blah blah blah. I think i really need sleep. Plenty of sleep. And right now everyone is pissing the shit out of me so badly I can only think of one word, FUCK.
I'm trying to maintain a very neutral mindset right now at this fucking moment but never mind.
And yes fuck it, i am not going to care about what's going to happen with you, you, you or you. Thank you world, you're such a fucking nice place to live in.
Saturday, October 24, 2009,9:57 AM
Why does this feeling gets so strong...
Thursday, October 22, 2009,8:17 PM
I need a haircut, badly.
I also need sleep, more than badly.
I need you, more than anything.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009,10:13 AM
And so it is.
Deep now, i miss those chatty nights. I miss those pecks, kisses, hugs. I miss the smell, miss the presence, miss everything. But on the surface, i think i managed to hide it all well, i meet up with friends, i fell sick, i sleep, i do what i felt like doing, i left you alone, i refused to think of you and i did it so well i thought things are just going to be like that. That i am going to be fine if we don't even talk as much. Till you return, to my arms or not we don't know.
I thought you didn't cared that much, but i was wrong about that. And i upset and hurt you. Now i dare not ask for anything more than your forgiveness.
i'm selfish, but i hope we can start all over again, if you are willing to accept me.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009,9:39 AM
i have done wrong.
Friday, October 16, 2009,12:01 AM
I finally decided to see a doc today and i was given 2 days MC. Right now i'm still deciding if i should go to work tomorrow. I feel like going and i don't feel like going. We'll see if i'm still drowsy tomorrow morning.
Caught 500 days of summer today, it's a good show but it makes me feel so angry. But anyway things like this don't usually work out the way it should, neither is there any theory or reasonings. Things just happen when they happen. Should we believe that fate work things out for us or we work for what we want?
I say, don't bother thinking too much. Just indulge yourself in whatever happiness you can find before it's gone.
The drugs' kicking in, i'm going to bed.
I'm easily angered but not as easily anymore. I get angry but my anger ease easily nowadays. At least that's how i feel, lesser anger and harder to anger. Maybe.
Sunday, October 11, 2009,10:47 AM
Give me a bird, and i'll let it out its cage.
Give me a fish, and i'll free it into the sea.
Give me a dog, and i'll not take care of it well.
Give me you, and i'll treat you better than myself.
I always love the familiarity i get whenever i talk to you, see you and so on. It just makes me feel like so at ease.
Dear blog,
i will update you when i feel like it again! HA HA HA! anyway once it's monday, i'm left with like 2 weeks and 4 more working days. Gosh to think i've not gotten any pay yet! I'm not in need of money but can i have my pay please? I want to be a few hundred bucks richer!
And i haven't been pampering myself by buying whatever i like. So i think that i should really get the phone that i want! HAHAH! Mommy mommy you look awesome today, can i have your IC and like another few hundred bucks. I'm gonna get myself a phone. =) All you need to do is give me your IC and the money and pay monthly for 2 years. Wink.
Dude's going in to SPF, singapore police force in like what, 3 days. All the best to you man. HAHA! i'm gonna miss your company, awwww, i was just kidding. HAHA!
I'm lazy to blog already.
Goodbye blog.
Monday, October 05, 2009,5:46 PM
Gosh, i can't imagine i miss you so badly. =(
IF only i can fly over even if it's only for 3 days. I don't mind but my current situation doesn't not allow me to do so. Not only because of IPP. IPP isn't such a big issue after all. I really really really want to fly over and see you. =(
Friday, October 02, 2009,5:26 PM
i lied, i care.
Btw, much thanks to ShayFern, you know why! But i doubt that you will see this! but anyway, THANKS SHAYFERN!
1:25 AM
I can't sleep, probably because i can't stop thinking of you.
